What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
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How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
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What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have
left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
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How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you
lose your house.
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What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
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What do you call two skunks that are 69ing?
Odor eaters.
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What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs.
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Why do women have vaginas?
So men will talk to them.
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Why do only 30% of men get into Heaven?
If it were more, it would be Hell.
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Why don't women have any brains?
Because they don't have penises to keep them in.
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What is the difference between a geneologist and a gynecologist?
A geneologist looks up your family tree and a gynecologist looks up your bush.
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Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
So he could run his fingers through his hair.
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Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman.
A microwave doesn't scream when you put a piece of meat in it.
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What do elephants use for tampons?
Sheep.
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Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.
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Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future, either.
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What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.
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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy twat.
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What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts.
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Why is being in the military like a blow-job?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
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What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine.
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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with.... the other is used to carry groceries
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What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A cock that stays up all night.
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How does a Welshman find a sheep in tall grass?
Very satisfying.
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What do cow pats and cowgirls have in common?
The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
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How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
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What's six inches long that women love?
Folding money.
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What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is using a feather....kinky is using the whole chicken.
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How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid?
When you open her legs the lights go on.
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When does a cub become a boy scout?
When he eats his first Brownie.
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Did you hear about the 150 lb. man who had 75 lb. testicles?
He was half nuts!!!
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Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mom.
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How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
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I think I know what they all mean !!!!
Leopold
